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Sometimes a man can make his best efforts but nothing is going to work. Perhaps she is already in love he thought? Yet she doesn’t mention any other men? John ponders and ponders but can come up with no concrete and convincing reason for Carmyn’s indifference to his efforts at sexual attraction. There was one thing that kept their relationship going and that was their mutual love of writing and John’s “never say die” attitude. No matter how many times Carmyn let his efforts fall by the side of the road, no matter how many times he was kicked to the curb, his mind would conjure up some new abracadabra scheme to win her heart and lure her into his bed. Well then things changed completely. One day meeting for coffee Carmyn introduced John to her best friend Angel. Well here was a tempestuous blond bombshell with a mercurial personality that can only be properly described as a drama queen. In a completely unexpected turn Carmyn clearly was directing John towards being interested in her. My breathing didn’t even speed up, it just stayed slow and even. I don’t know how long I sat there like that. Time seemed to distort and dilate inside my head. My watch was out of my field of vision, and I couldn’t even move my eyeballs to look at it. I was terrified at first, utterly panicked. I thought maybe I was dying, having a stroke or a heart attack or an aneurysm. But then I felt the thought enter my brain: I’m totally in love with Adam DeMarcus. It just seemed to sit there, deep in the core of my mind, and something about it relaxed me. Like the thought had been waiting there forever, and all the pain was just my brain finding the pathway to that one beautiful idea. There was still some pain, though. It still felt like there was more to the idea, more to discover. I started to understand that my mind was trying to fight this…learning process, I guess you’d call it, but that’s just a shadow of how intense it really was. But the more I fought it, the more it burned these new.
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